never been so happy to be home!!!

Usually when I travel==just don't wanna come home!

This last trip was excellent...(while I was on the ground in New Mexico)...

the flying part sucked!!! There were so many snafus..it was ridiculous...yeah, there were weather issues and it was the holiday but the airline was pretty god awful.

I was scared of driving for a bit because of a car accident and I like to fly usually and I was looking forward to not driving! But funny how things get twisted cause now I'm so happy to drive! :)

I'm home. I'm home...and not in an airplane! Even flying abroad is more comfortable than these last hellish flights! I had an overnight in Phoenix...and I couldn't get back to work in time...cause the earliest flight out was 4 something p.m. Sooo...good part was the comfy bed...ahhhhh....nice!

music...makes me travel

This music last night...I've heard the band before. The sound reminds me a bit of music from this film, "Hideous Kinky" that I love. The movie takes place in Morocco...and it has such a hippy, artsy feel. And there's some meaningful, tough stuff that this mother of two (played by Kate Winslet) has to go through. I like the guy she meets in the movie. He really seems to care about her and the two girls. There's this scene I love...where the guy=her boyfriend from Morocco is teaching the two girls to do cartwheels and there's "Here Comes the Sun" by Ritchie Havens playing in the background. Oh..I want to travel and travel. But I know sometimes it's good to come home. Sometimes that home can be wherever your heart travels to...

whatevers...

Im just feeling whatevers right now...

Sooooo tired!!!! Working lotsa hours.

Wanna be on vacation somewhere where I don't have to do anything!!! Traveling soon but it's thanksgiving and there will be loads of work to do to help family out. I wanna help but also just want to rest and just get away and never come back to the daily grind. But the daily grind pays the bills!

I just feel like whatevers...I'm not attached to this or that.

Whatevers...at least for tonight...I'm done for the day...may tomorrow be grand.

working...

I'm working in a new locale right now...a far drive from home. Arggh! I kinda like it though! It's like going on a little vacation...ahhh...not really. But there's something novel about it I guess. I'm wanting to do a good job like always...and I know it'll be aok...I pray for all to be in the flow...

ch-ch-ch---changes...

I would love to be drumming right this moment...as in this picture: "I don't wanna work...I just wanna bang on me drums all day." I am sooo looking forward to Seva Cafe being back in effect...I am soooo stoked and blown away...that it's starting up again!

There are so many changes sifting round...I stayed home from a class tonight. Just couldn't go. I needed to stomach all of this. I pray to spirit, the universe for all to happen with ease...I hope!

The kids in India

When I look at this pic...I'm always enormously taken aback...by the sweet little angels I met in India. These children were so trusting, so kind...with these hearts from heaven. I found myself soooo at peace around them. And bonded to them. They called me: Giannadidi...which means Gianna but a sister...didi means sister. I loved their energy and am so grateful I was able to meet these amazing little ones. Namaste always! I miss u but am always with you. I will always be so proud and humbled by you. Always!

Nature

Here I am sitting in such beauty around me...in a treehouse in Sri Lanka last December/January. :) The nature was breathtaking! Waterfalls, trees, the works!

About meditation in my life...

I've been meditating daily, but I find the times I can really connect are on the weekends...when I've had enough sleep....where I'm not rushing to get to work.

When it cools down again, I will meditate more outside. Meditation really helps me fit all into the day and not fit too much in...and feel like the day was satisfying...

It's important to honor each day....and not make it miserable...by all the unprocessed thoughts, feelings...that I feel=mostly when I don't meditate!

Love and peace! :)

meditating again===day 2

Today I seemed to have a proper amount of time to meditate again. There were some things that could have thrown me off balance...

1. A friend who doesn't come to my home town much mentioned she was local with a friend. I had somewhere to be later in day and normally that would have gotten me all disorganized, but she and friend came by briefly and we talked for a half hour and all was good...just wish I coulda gotten some iced coffee before driving so far up north.

2. I talked to my dad. Lately, he and I are misunderstanding each other...today, I called him a few times...I had to let him know I couldn't talk once...so called back later. All times, we were calm and respectful of each other.

3. I arrived around 4pm in Downey to a friend's baby's bday party. Usually I would have been overly apologetic about getting there later...but no one questioned me and all was good. I went after to my friend's house with her family and stayed exactly how long I wanted to stay and drove home...I didn't feel feelings when I arrived at party...like I'm late, unworthy, a pobrecita. I just felt fine!

I was able to balance a lot today and not get too stressed and for this I'm grateful :) I ate before I left home too, so I wasn't hungry on way up...

meditating again==day 1

Oh my...now I know how much it means to meditate. Well, I knew before, but I feel these things happened because I meditated today.

1. I was walking down to beach and a guy had a flower for this girl and he said: well, here's one for you too! This is a random guy, and it felt like a random act of kindness.

2. I went to Long Beach and took two friends out for their birthdays. We went upstairs and there was salsa dancing in this club attached to restaurant. I really was feeling I'd like to be asked to dance, and immediately a guy came up to me and asked if I've danced salsa before. He wasn't exactly a looker, but I just wanted to dance.

3. I swam in the ocean and just seemed to get more done today! Yay!

waves crashing

Like a fish swimming in the sea
the ocean comes to me.

I could live in the sea if I could breathe...
like a mermaid, a fish...under water..

I've seen dolphins lately (whole schools) leaping and traveling
with their friends and family.

I've seen blue whales...and their magnificent tails flashing colorfully in the falling of the sun.

Crashing waves. I really wish I could live on the beach sometime. I live near the beach, but to live on the beach is really so beautiful...connected to the earth in all its gorgeousness. :)

"Dude, Where's my car?"

I was oh so comfortable in my old car. It wasn't old at all...only a year old....the first new car I ever had. And now I got another car...but it just doesn't feel the same...the other car I had sparkled in the sunlight, drove like a dream=it was spectacular!!! And it was my first new car. Car shmar...why do we put so much attention on objects in this world? I would have been fine with having any kind of car, but that one...it just was beautiful in my eyes!!!---green like many fields and trees. It was so lovely! And then it felt like I lost it just as quickly as I found it...crunched in an accident. I was hoping that the car was ok, but it was more necessary that I was ok...I walked away with a sprained ankle, punch in chest by mr. airbag...and a sore wrist. I walked away ok...amazing!

Funny (as in peculiar)...how life changes u...and wakes u up even when u feel u couldn't get much more awake...

I have another car...and it is spectacular as well! But my new car mania has worn off and it feels a bit like replacing a dog or cat that ran away...it's never fully quite replaced...no matter how swiftly the replacement occurs.

I've been thinking of how my life was pre-accident. It was going good. It was busy. But I was taking on what I wanted to take on, but I really needed to take time to reflect. And did an accident have to happen to get me to meditate more? I hope not. But sometimes someone has to knock on your door to get your attention...in a major way if u're not listening enough.

Home

Have you ever wanted to go home so badly...that you're driving..and you could swear that on the back of the bumper of the car in front of you...the sweet words: "Home" are etched in? Illusion, delusion...whatever it may be...sometimes home calls you...like the scent of a fire burning in the fireplace on a cold winter's day...promising warmth, friendship, love.

It feels like whenever you want to get home...there are all these blocks...someone swerves in front of you, someone stops suddenly...anything to stop you from arriving home and finally breathing normally....because of so much going on in the day...it's hard to get a chance to breathe...really breathe....in an OM type of fashion.

HOME...I know many homes now...So. Africa, India, Sri Lanka, Italy, and California...

I'm trying to dream re-dream..the vision of home that will re-invent me, embrace me, conspire and soothe me into deep smiles that hit the wavelengths of my HEART.