Getting Up Early

Piece I read aloud in Wild Womyn writers' group in Santa Ana the other night. I was nervous reading to a group. Did this way back, but I think I could get the hang of it again=I think!... :)

Getting Up Early

Some people love to get up right when the sun rises. Just like in a commercial, they stretch and smile and welcome the day!

Yes, I agree. A new day is grand, but Sun-can you wait awhile until I'm ready to get up? Job, can you wait too? I'm not ready for this early day and I amongst many others-scream at the heavens: Can we please go back to sleep again? I'm not sure this is what we signed up for!

Birds can chirp-chirp away, but I'm not so cheery and if my alarm doesn't go off, that's spectacular for me! But I'm awakened again by sharp radio tones and then a slow song comes on,and I almost fall back deep into the sweet comfort of my bed, but then glance again at the clock. What? It's 7am? I didn't get to meditate! Will I even be able to take a shower, let alone comb my hair?

I find two mismatched socks. That'll do. I find my purse under the bed, grab my keys, and then out the door like lightning-only to be welcomed, this day welcomes me, to traffic stretching from my town to an infinite amount of towns in California.

And the morning greets me.

There has to be a better way. :)

shopping at Ikea...Disneyland or Maze?

I do love Ikea and could be there for hours and hours, but it's very interesting how the exit is very difficult to find. I'm wondering if that wasn't a mistake on the architect's grand plan!? Basically, you have to ask everyone and anyone where different sections (living room, bedroom, kitchen) are. I love looking at puppets in the kids' section but not really when I'm in a time crunch! Of course...if we all get lost, the friendly helpers in Yellow uniforms are right there and can sell us on something...well, that's not exactly true..they're quite friendly and not noticeably eager to pitch Ikea products, but maybe the idea is to ask them questions and then a conversation springs up about all the lovely furniture. Of course it looks super lovely until you get home and have to put it all together! That's why I just go get duvet covers, comforters, and plants! Well, I will get furniture such as sofa bed (when I can afford it), but not something like a 5 piece this or that...(It's actually usually 50 plus pieces to put together)...so, I was looking at what level warmth comforter to get...1, 2, 3, all season 1+3 or 4...and was getting so utterly confused that I kept walking round and round and felt like I was in the middle of a desert with no water! I started stumbling toward what I thought was the exit...pushing my shopping cart which suddenly felt as heavy as 3000 bricks.Luckily, I run into a couple who seem to know the lay of the land, but not surprisingly...they're lost too! Our only oasis are the signs ahead which are labeled very inconspicuously and I start to feel like I'm a character in "Alice in Wonderland"=the Johnny Depp version (haven't seen, but my guess is it's pretty trippy.) I see a computer...a big, friendly sign reads "leave your comments! Anything we can improve?" I think to myself, you bet your *&$#! I make a beeline for the oh so bright and friendly computer and write: "How does one find the exit to the store...do we ever get out?" And Dear Kmart [insert Ikea here] shoppers, the "as is" furniture didn't fail to tempt me...scraps of textiles, grungy books, and just a tad too boldly colored furniture...inspiring? No. Intriguing..perhaps...

And finally...the slowest race in the world of shopping has come to a rapid halt! Self checkout=cool...not so cool though when beaten by consumerism that just won't let ya go! Can I hold up the beeper or whatever it is to scan my goodies? Yah..I think so. Skinny teen with a ready smile knows I'm at the end of my rope...so offers me some encouragement."Just a few more steps to take, Miss. And I think you'll be able to go home." The word "home" almost sends me to delirium...and I'm just about to open my neatly packaged level 3 comforter and curl up in a ball on the floor when....

Say it ain't so! Ahead of me...oh yes..the light at the end of the tunnel...the great parking lot before me (with my car somewhere beyond the sunset) and Ikea slices of pizza with soda combo! I've really walked a mile or more today for the love of...about 4 items and loads of distraction. But you bet we'll all be back! Crazy but true... =P

Missing Mom on Mother's Day...

Today, I hardly got out of the house. I waited for cable guy to come by to get cable to work right, then I got hooked on some movies and there goes the day! I did cook and made some smoothies in blender and made Pasta! I hardly cook so this was good! And I want to learn to cook more for myself and boyfriend and friends/family!

Today I felt sad not to celebrate Mother's Day with my mom. I just missed her terribly...and we kept missing each other on phone. I really wanted to talk to her today.

I think we'll be able to talk to each other tomorrow. I think this is a feeling of sadness I'm getting...because a few years back..I was in a car accident the day after Mother's Day. I was sad because I couldn't talk with her on Mother's day that year too. That was 2008.

My subconscious may also be remembering that accident and the trauma I went through and how that affected my body and spirit.

I made it through that though...so I'm grateful. :) I'm alive today and feel very happy that I survived. My car was spinning and spinning...I remember thinking that I couldn't possibly live through that.

It feels good to write tonight. Mercury is almost out of retrograde and things are looking up!

I'm going to walk into the night a bit and thank my lucky stars for all I've been given and others have been given...Life means so much!

Feeling anew...

Lately, there are tons of miracles happening. I'm grateful for so much! I just moved, and although it's always so hectic with moving...I'm glad I did it! I feel there was some divine intervention involved. I now have a place that's more airy and light, and it just feels right! I have tons to unpack and stuff...excited to bike and get out in nature. I'm glad it's Spring and getting excited for summer! I'm hopeful for the future, even though the world is going through much strife! I feel happy to have a significant other (someone in my life who's a companion/sweetheart to me. Who knew there would be so much change in these recent years! I've been pretty brave...and stepped out on a limb. There are things that I've jumped into...and before I would have been fairly reticent. Things have been good...and I'm grateful to the universe and all my friends, family, and my boyfriend. I'm happy for people who have reached out and embraced me even when things have felt very difficult and challenging. I'm feeling proud of myself and others. I'm feeling lucky. I'm just a girl trying to make the best of herself in this life. I'm happy for miracles...and if this can happen now, just think what meditation will bring! I'm wondering about my life ahead, but I'm happy to be in the here and now...and that's a big accomplishment for me. Being present in the present...thank you, beautiful moon, stars, and waves! I thank you...in joy.